At last the lovely sunny weather has arrived, but you wouldnt know it cause it was coming down in buckets all day today…. I know this, because I have been sitting here in the snug window, watching the aforementioned rain whilst (really) watching out out for a certain big white moggy who wont take the hint!
The reason I’m stuck here in limbo, incarceration, quarantine (call it what you will) is on account of my claw fight with a neighboorhood imposter who had the gall to repeatedly step on my patch of turf. Over the past three weeks I’ve been spraying and spraying to warn him to stay away,but ohhh noo, he didn’t take heed did he ….well this show down had been on the scratching post for months.
It all came to a head Friday last. And now, here I am like the prisoner in Behan’s jail, trussed up in this stupid headdress, cum bonnet so kindly loaned me by the Vet. And since I’ve got this extra time on my paws I thought I’d relate to you, dear reader, the story.
I lay dozing in the shade of my favourite pine when I saw, out the corner of my eye (as y’do), strolling casually down MY garden path, a big white beast of a moggy. To cut a long story short, I kept watching and he (the upstart!) began to nestle down in MY borage patch.
Well, I jumped up and trotted over for a closer peek and then when he saw me the ‘I’m not budging’ standoff began.
Twenty minutes later, we’re still stood staring there, growling, muewing and hissing at each other. ‘White Body Black Tail’ as I like to call him, but my humans think of as ‘Patch’ (for obvious, unimaginative reasons), was slowly realising the error of his ways…
The final straw was his lunge at my face as he passed me, I turned swiftly and ran down the path in chase, but he was as fast as me and made the six foot fence in ten bounds. The Imposter was defeated but I was in one of those frisky moods, having been forced into spending the whole day in the garret…. and I followed upwards just for the heck of it. My sharp claws digging in to the old wood to help my climb…. Sadly, I then slipped (hope no one was watching) and (it tuns out) ripped a claw off in the process. Oh the pain… I strolled back home proud but bowed.
‘White Body Black Tail’ was gone but I had paid the price. For my sins the kindly (not) Vetinary Nurse presented me with a spring bonnet and slipped it on without my consent. Oh how I absolutely loathe it. The damn wound is itching like crazy and I can’t now get to lick it better.